artiststatement

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 7:47pm)

artiststatement

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20366
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

artiststatement's page activity

Visits<b>Crimine</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:54pm<b>irenaknez</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:43am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 3:07pm<b>HopeDawn</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:55am<b>ImpracticalJoekr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:32pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:02am<b>rush01</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:13am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:45am<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:09pm<b>mlwalker88</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:30pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:05am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:28am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:40am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:34am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:30am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:25am<b>packrat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:44am<b>saocrates</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:57am

artiststatement's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of artiststatement's badges

artiststatement's favorite FMLs

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

by anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz / 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too / 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

by Palindromesque / 09/04/2013 at 5:07am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

by aisbash / 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love