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artiststatement

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 9:48pm) | Search for a member

artiststatement

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13176
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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artiststatement's page activity

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artiststatement's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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See all of artiststatement's badges

artiststatement's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47395) - you deserved it (3500)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54923) - you deserved it (7219)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52876) - you deserved it (8357)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37184) - you deserved it (7408)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, while swimming in the ocean, I felt some sand under my wedding ring. I took it off for a second, and got hit by a huge wave. My ring is now lost somewhere in the ocean. FML

#20961838
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29274) - you deserved it (38439)

On 11/18/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by smiley1014 (man) - United States

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42016) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (11195)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (2371)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42930) - you deserved it (7991)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (3352)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62339) - you deserved it (4054)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43656) - you deserved it (6795)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML

#20939397
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53217) - you deserved it (7716)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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