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artiststatement

Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 7:47pm) | Search for a member

artiststatement

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16584
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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artiststatement's page activity

Visits<b>HopeDawn</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:55am<b>ImpracticalJoekr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:32pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:02am<b>rush01</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:13am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:45am<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:09pm<b>mlwalker88</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:30pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:05am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:28am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:40am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:34am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:30am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:25am<b>packrat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:44am<b>saocrates</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:57am<b>Damafia</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:28am<b>gogators941</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:20pm<b>emilyporter_14</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:46pm

artiststatement's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of artiststatement's badges

artiststatement's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47178) - you deserved it (4042)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

#21138395
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49554) - you deserved it (7575)

On 05/13/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64114) - you deserved it (8116)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44674) - you deserved it (8539)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (4001)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37352) - you deserved it (4103)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47402) - you deserved it (6772)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44494) - you deserved it (5808)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

#21122958
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40116) - you deserved it (6375)

On 04/25/2014 at 7:45pm - health - by fuck you, Jeff (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53752) - you deserved it (4711)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39835) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (3256)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (12202)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML



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