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artiststatement

Offline (the 05/16/2015 at 6:05pm) | Search for a member

artiststatement

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15377
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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artiststatement's page activity

Visits<b>HopeDawn</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:55am<b>ImpracticalJoekr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:32pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:02am<b>rush01</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:13am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:45am<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:09pm<b>mlwalker88</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:30pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:05am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:28am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:40am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:34am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:30am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:25am<b>packrat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:44am<b>saocrates</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:57am<b>Damafia</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:28am<b>gogators941</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:20pm<b>emilyporter_14</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:46pm

artiststatement's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of artiststatement's badges

artiststatement's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (5494)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (36679)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (7219)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40658) - you deserved it (14529)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (11547)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39896) - you deserved it (4867)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53158) - you deserved it (8257)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was reviewing documents at work, only to find one of my coworkers has been signing off on paperwork, claiming he's been walking one of the residents daily. Aside from being a double leg amputee, the patient died two weeks ago. The state review board comes this week. FML

#21198473
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (3586)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by cakefete2 (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45135) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (9475)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46096) - you deserved it (5321)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47130) - you deserved it (4040)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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