artiststatement

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Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 7:47pm)

artiststatement

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21864
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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artiststatement's page activity

Visits<b>Crimine</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:54pm<b>irenaknez</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:43am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 3:07pm<b>HopeDawn</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:55am<b>ImpracticalJoekr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:32pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:02am<b>rush01</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:13am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:45am<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:09pm<b>mlwalker88</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:30pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:05am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:28am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:40am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:34am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:30am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:25am<b>packrat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:44am<b>saocrates</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:57am

artiststatement's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of artiststatement's badges

artiststatement's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Love

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

by NoConfusion / 09/14/2014 at 8:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

by s0728 / 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek