Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

arsinic

Online | Search for a member

arsinic

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2167
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About arsinic : The elusive ArSinic can often be found lurking on the walls of FML and LOLpics, finding stupid puns and pictures of baby animals for amusement. If you ever cross it's path, the only chance for survival would be to soil yourself or offer it pizza.

arsinic's page activity

Visits<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:35am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 6:34pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:16pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:51pm<b>riddle143</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:32pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:30pm<b>adrian1910</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:02pm<b>LillithWolf</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:45am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:28am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:25am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:06am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:38am<b>opnionation</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:36am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:13pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:04pm<b>roro_superloser</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:01am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:06am

Fucked!<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:35am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:53am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:54pm<b>LillithWolf</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:47pm

arsinic's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of arsinic's badges

arsinic's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a phone call from my boss, from the other side of the country. It seems the conference I sent him to is actually happening next week. FML

#21520233
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18461) - you deserved it (6404)

On 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

#21509147
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (1265)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by bob the builders pissed off daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

#21496405
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (4746)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by WhatALetdown - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML

#21494137
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (1820)

On 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm - work - by Secret Isis supporter (man) - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (8729)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

#21487297
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (1705)

On 11/02/2015 at 10:26am - misc - by racello13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

#21482431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

#21479175
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (1900)

On 10/12/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by laurenmichela (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the one guy sitting next to me, and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

#21470559
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (11311)

On 09/20/2015 at 11:23am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was convinced to face my fears of rollercoasters by a friend. I'm writing this at the highest point of the ride after being stuck over thirty minutes. FML

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

#21464501
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

#21458720
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (16146)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: