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arsenicalhumor

Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 4:08am) | Search for a member

arsenicalhumor

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2601
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About arsenicalhumor : I work in a garage for an automotive group. On my free time I'm either reading FML's, or gaming. I like women, so if you're here to flirt: go find someone else.

arsenicalhumor's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:38pm<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:09am<b>jbcy</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:21am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:18am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:01pm<b>just_killin_time</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Botmun12</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:51am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:25am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:03am<b>blurrr8</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:37am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:13am<b>ellymae96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:10pm<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:40am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:52am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 3:36pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 6:03pm

Liked!<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:52am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:40pm<b>brook22</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:11am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:09am

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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arsenicalhumor's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (6005)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37056) - you deserved it (2191)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (4447)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17130) - you deserved it (1767)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19373) - you deserved it (3320)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19053) - you deserved it (3592)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (6120)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (3867)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (26649)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

#19791173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (46790)

On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (6364)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (5494)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

#19339919
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15729) - you deserved it (3282)

On 03/24/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Stephen (man) - Sweden

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7060) - you deserved it (33361)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States



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