arsenicalhumor

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Offline (the 06/22/2015 at 10:16pm)

arsenicalhumor

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4194
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About arsenicalhumor : I work in a garage for an automotive group. On my free time I'm either reading FML's, or gaming. I like women, so if you're here to flirt: go find someone else.

arsenicalhumor's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:59pm<b>plan_Z</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:13am<b>MisUnFortunate</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:53pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 3:29pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 12:08am<b>turtlewrangler</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:27pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 2:47am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 5:09pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:18pm<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:25pm<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:24am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:34pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:16am<b>sarahmsw20</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:50pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:35am<b>ShooperShweggy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:58am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:36am<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:18pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:59am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:16am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:49pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:52am<b>brook22</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:11am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:09am

arsenicalhumor's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of arsenicalhumor's badges

arsenicalhumor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

by InfamousLastWord / 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

by arsenicalhumor / 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm / Canada (Quebec) / Money

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

by AKGrace / 02/21/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Alaska) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

by Greg / 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

by Unappreciated Grandchild / 11/06/2012 at 2:59am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

by nicedoggy / 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

by badwolf / 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

by ice cream dude / 08/10/2012 at 9:58am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

by Anna / 06/15/2012 at 5:43am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love