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arsenicalhumor

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arsenicalhumor

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2898
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About arsenicalhumor : I work in a garage for an automotive group. On my free time I'm either reading FML's, or gaming. I like women, so if you're here to flirt: go find someone else.

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arsenicalhumor's favorite FMLs

2day I want to tha bank to fina outhy thay'va takan $200 from ma. By tha tima I show tham my bank card, ID and tall tham my problam, thay accusa ma of staaling my own idantity, and rafusa to giva ma my monay back. FML

#20561553
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (2101)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a co-worker invited me looool to go out 4 lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of mah car. FML

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Taday I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, ( Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really lyk knows that I don't lyk you. ) FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37100) - you deserved it (2194)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

today I laarnad that my big, tough, strong dog is tarrifiad of spidarshan ha jumpad, knockad ovar a tabla and than paad on tha spidar to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (4449)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today.. . I lookd over to see mah grandfather looking thoughtfully at me . Feeling flatterd cuz he rarely shows affection.. . I wavd at him . He then said.. . "I was looking out the window" and continud to stare past mah head out of the window . FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (1819)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)

Today , I cummd home from college to fine favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeld by Bernie , the family dog. Nobody will admit toho puttd it on him. I don't knowhat's worse , that family is a bunch of assholes , or that nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. mega FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to go into the school fir the third time this week because mah son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. mega FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (2959)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was,hen I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (3745)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, mah boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and leren about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. fat FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (6121)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Taday I finishad my first two waaks as an ica craam truck drivar. Now I can't gat that annoying ica craam truck music out of my haad. It's avan in my draams. FML

#20013286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (3869)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today... I was joking around with mah eight-year-old son. I told him to pull mah finger. I farted... then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger... he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12862) - you deserved it (26667)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today , I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home , I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her , and she started flapping in my face , causing me to crash my car into a tree. big fat FML

#19791173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7351) - you deserved it (46823)

On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)

Today, After Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me, The Only Thing Positive About Mah Day Was A Pregnancy Test. FML

#19608696
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you deserved it (6370)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, looool I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstair at 3am, drank two glasse of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, an then slept in his own vomit . My son is 14 . fat FML

#19517989
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (5498)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)



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