Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

arsenicalhumor

Online | Search for a member

arsenicalhumor

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2640
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About arsenicalhumor : I work in a garage for an automotive group. On my free time I'm either reading FML's, or gaming. I like women, so if you're here to flirt: go find someone else.

arsenicalhumor's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:38pm<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:09am<b>jbcy</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:21am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:18am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:01pm<b>just_killin_time</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Botmun12</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:51am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:25am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:03am<b>blurrr8</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:37am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:13am<b>ellymae96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:10pm<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:40am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:52am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 3:36pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 6:03pm

Liked!<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:52am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:40pm<b>brook22</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:11am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:09am

arsenicalhumor's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of arsenicalhumor's badges

arsenicalhumor's favorite FMLs

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (3566)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46273) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

#20629715
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46274) - you deserved it (11685)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (34951)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53388) - you deserved it (6569)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43863) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51217) - you deserved it (6817)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

#20625530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52334) - you deserved it (3330)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54104) - you deserved it (3576)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51652) - you deserved it (3978)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49934) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

#20624598
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52401) - you deserved it (3303)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46906) - you deserved it (9326)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (2831)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: