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arsenicalhumor

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arsenicalhumor

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3020
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About arsenicalhumor : I work in a garage for an automotive group. On my free time I'm either reading FML's, or gaming. I like women, so if you're here to flirt: go find someone else.

arsenicalhumor's page activity

Visits<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Shluurm</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:32am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:16am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:49pm<b>brookb73</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:57pm<b>constipation</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:57pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:08am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:38pm<b>jbcy</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:21am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:18am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:01pm<b>just_killin_time</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Botmun12</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:51am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:25am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:03am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:49pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:52am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:40pm<b>brook22</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:11am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:09am

arsenicalhumor's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of arsenicalhumor's badges

arsenicalhumor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47341) - you deserved it (4291)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50530) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66572) - you deserved it (8093)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (55116)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58515) - you deserved it (4213)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59525) - you deserved it (7765)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57387) - you deserved it (15006)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42620) - you deserved it (18638)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35557) - you deserved it (10676)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54986) - you deserved it (5217)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (7059)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (3383)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (58364)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51916) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)



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