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arsenicalhumor

Offline (the 06/22/2015 at 10:16pm) | Search for a member

arsenicalhumor

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3360
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About arsenicalhumor : I work in a garage for an automotive group. On my free time I'm either reading FML's, or gaming. I like women, so if you're here to flirt: go find someone else.

arsenicalhumor's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:34pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:16am<b>sarahmsw20</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:50pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:35am<b>ShooperShweggy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:58am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:36am<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Shluurm</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:32am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:16am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:49pm<b>brookb73</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:57pm<b>constipation</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:57pm<b>baseball27LD</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:08am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:38pm<b>jbcy</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:21am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:18am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:09pm

Fucked!<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:16am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:49pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:52am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:40pm<b>brook22</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:11am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:09am

arsenicalhumor's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of arsenicalhumor's badges

arsenicalhumor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52723) - you deserved it (6663)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58759) - you deserved it (12303)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

#20780398
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61226) - you deserved it (3681)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52813) - you deserved it (4352)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48892) - you deserved it (19601)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

#20765003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (48849)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64774) - you deserved it (3765)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40774) - you deserved it (5647)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46723) - you deserved it (2794)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (3565)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (20477)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

#20714023
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52897) - you deserved it (4006)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

#20712353
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57338) - you deserved it (4494)

On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57301) - you deserved it (66223)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55665) - you deserved it (16887)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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