About arrrrrlennie : Gotta love reading these posts and comments.
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arrrrrlennie's favorite FMLs
by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML
by badluckbrianna / 10/07/2012 at 1:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
by Alisha / 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML
by sopissed / 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML
by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
by kingpig / 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Pimpleeater / 12/20/2011 at 2:45am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids
by stinkyhair / 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just… Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were… Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed…