armorman86

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Offline (the 03/11/2015 at 2:18pm)

armorman86

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 947
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About armorman86 : I'm a person that lives in a place. Im a gamer at heart and can easily play for days on end. FML is for when I'm bored or in an awkward situation so it's no surprise it's on my phone.

armorman86's page activity

Visits<b>MoMo_Dezz</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:07am<b>gionatorinc</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>cargaljen</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 12:20pm<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 4:46pm<b>w_introuble</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:31am<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 3:52am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 3:14am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:17am<b>larson15</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:25pm<b>BananaTheHannah</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 6:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 2:15am<b>Kiztalee</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:58pm<b>Incognito_1924</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:09pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:37pm<b>TaniasaysFMLL</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 10:09pm<b>TheCanucklehead</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 1:06pm

armorman86's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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armorman86's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm / Work

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

by -_- / 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm / United States (Hawaii) / Money

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

by none / 08/22/2013 at 12:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

by MarissaKayleen / 08/12/2013 at 6:06am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

by moms know best??? / 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

by butnotlikethat / 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm / China (Jiangxi) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

by howaboutno / 03/14/2013 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy