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archertheo

Offline (the 10/25/2014 at 8:53am) | Search for a member

archertheo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 November 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 498
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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archertheo's page activity

Visits<b>ratherbesleeping</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:29pm<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:17am<b>vegasked</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:48am<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:39pm<b>bluesboy36</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:07pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:47pm<b>onesarcasticdik</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm<b>jsgervais84</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:49am<b>Tim2415</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:41pm<b>rks01</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:00am<b>akelley66</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:02am<b>sniperbehind</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 5:55am<b>hurryHM</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:43am<b>davidpropert</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:31pm

archertheo's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of archertheo's badges

archertheo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49069) - you deserved it (20771)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60671) - you deserved it (4189)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51705) - you deserved it (5164)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59666) - you deserved it (10141)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64338) - you deserved it (5168)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50210) - you deserved it (7019)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64989) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49333) - you deserved it (27746)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84157) - you deserved it (4423)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47632) - you deserved it (4902)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (52399)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69233) - you deserved it (9405)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41149) - you deserved it (23361)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (5914)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51846) - you deserved it (6274)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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