archertheo

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Offline (the 06/12/2016 at 10:16pm)

archertheo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 565
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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archertheo's page activity

Visits<b>ratherbesleeping</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:29pm<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:17am<b>vegasked</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:48am<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:39pm<b>bluesboy36</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:07pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:47pm<b>onesarcasticdik</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm<b>jsgervais84</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:49am<b>Tim2415</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:41pm<b>rks01</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:00am<b>akelley66</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:02am<b>sniperbehind</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 5:55am<b>hurryHM</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:43am<b>davidpropert</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:31pm

archertheo's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of archertheo's badges

archertheo's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

by mister_pinky / 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Intimacy

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

by TwistedCherub1 / 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm / United States / Work

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

by Neveragain / 07/01/2013 at 1:49am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous