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arayku

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arayku

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  • Number of visits : 2761
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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arayku's page activity

Visits<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:46am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 7:07am

arayku's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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arayku's favorite FMLs

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (66431)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64991) - you deserved it (3511)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (74147)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

#20063189
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (2743)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36472) - you deserved it (1945)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (41484)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (8696)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

#20024180
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26916) - you deserved it (1465)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35098) - you deserved it (9213)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, what I thought would be a romantic sleepover with the guy I like quickly turned into hell on earth when his girlfriend showed up. I had to scale the fire escape in my underwear so I could get back to my car in one piece. FML

#20002439
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10876) - you deserved it (34623)

On 08/04/2012 at 4:05pm - love - by nikki - Greece (Kikladhes)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

#20002371
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (25317)

On 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm - kids - by me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (16778)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (2296)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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