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aprilmayjune93

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aprilmayjune93
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 379
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aprilmayjune93's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (17935)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56337) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML

#17996860
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by Carl - United States (Kansas)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53211) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

#17177083
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (3594)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by PissNTra - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

#17046646
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm - health - by ilovedirt - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (11945)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

#12649609
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (2990)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)



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