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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6552
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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anonimeeeee's page activity

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anonimeeeee's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.


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anonimeeeee's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (3774)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45660) - you deserved it (3195)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (5379)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (39233) - you deserved it (6155)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (2582)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (3987)

On 12/30/2014 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by GladYoureConcerned (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40643) - you deserved it (4126)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (2731)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38800) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40155) - you deserved it (3807)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML


Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45694) - you deserved it (5793)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49389) - you deserved it (6933)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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