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annoyedchild

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 3:11am) | Search for a member

annoyedchild

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 821
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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annoyedchild's page activity

Visits<b>snowflake_3325</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 7:00am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 12:45pm

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annoyedchild's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120568) - you deserved it (9160)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

#2594715
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (53433)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (15839)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
742 comments

I agree, your life sucks (290998) - you deserved it (156803)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (280835) - you deserved it (17793)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53677) - you deserved it (8633)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61071) - you deserved it (5745)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (250506) - you deserved it (32417)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143323) - you deserved it (21627)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277465) - you deserved it (50524)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244010) - you deserved it (82478)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (3196)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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