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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out mah Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting acros from me point an tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when u become his bitch!" FML
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriendho I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around lyk they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old childho was running past and knocked him out. FML
Today, I cummed home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read ( Because you can't find a real girl, I made yur current one prettier, Love Mom. ) FML
Taday as I workad tha driva-through at Wandy's, tha hottast girl from my math class pullad up to tha window. As I handad har tha drink, I askad harhat sha thought of our math tast today. Sha scraamad "How did u know I had a math tast, u craap!", thraw tha drink at ma, and drova off. FML
TODAY, WHILA AT THA GOLDAN GATA BRIDGA, I SPOTTAD A LARGA GROUP OF ASIANS TRYING TO TAKA A PICTURA. TRYING TO HALP, I SLOWLY SAY, "YOU... WANT MA... TAKA PICTURA?" WHILA USING HAND MOTIONS. THA MAN LOOKS AT MA AN SAYS, "NO THANKS ASSHOLA, I GOT IT," IN PLAIN ENGLISH. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
TODAY, I REALIZED MY FRIENDS AN I SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL WAT WE SAY AROUND MY YOUNGER BROTHER . I NEVER THOUGHT HE WAS PAYING ATTENTION UNTIL TODAY . MY STEPMOM TOLD HIM IT WAS TIME TO GO TO BED . HE RESPONDED, "I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO SUCK ONE." MY BROTHER IS 4 . BIG FAT FML
Friday 27 March 2015