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animalover9

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animalover9
  • Town/Country : Reading, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 June 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 519
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About animalover9 : 'Ello people!
I obviously love animals. Although, stupid people have made me feel the need to say this, "Not A Furry".
Moving on, I also love the rock genre of music (Papa Roach being my favorite band) and will make fun of things like One Direction or BVB/BOTDF because I'm a terrible human being who takes most things way too easily. Seriously, I end up offending a bunch of people often with my dumbass jokes ^-^" I'm that odd person who feels compassion for just about everyone/everything, yet still manages to be a complete offensive jerk ._.
I enjoy FML because it makes me feel better about my own life. Don't get me wrong, I have a pretty simple life but everyone has those days where you want to set people on fire. And when you have an annoying case of Social Anxiety, you really do tend to avoid people in reality.
Message me for anything~ (Although I'm not on FML as much anymore so I could take very long to get back to you but I should eventually)

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animalover9's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39046) - you deserved it (7056)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57494) - you deserved it (19403)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (5311)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (4890)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45303) - you deserved it (22607)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (53580)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

#20536189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (3340)

On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (3675)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (1751)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9694) - you deserved it (67544)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)



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