About angrynegro7 : I am unimpressed...GO AWAY!
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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angrynegro7's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 10:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Transportation
by sealy / 12/28/2010 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 2:51pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Money
by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Connor / 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I went with my sister to her company Christmas party. They had a gift raffle, my number was called and I won $25 for a local restaurant. A few moments later, the manager came over and said, "You don't work here? You can't have that" and took it from me. FML
by unlucky / 12/15/2010 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML
by penisgrabber / 12/15/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by hotride / 12/15/2010 at 11:34am / Transportation
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
by shit / 12/14/2010 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Health
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there… Today, my boyfriend dumped me. One reason was because he couldn't have "intellectual conversations"… Today, and for the last few days I've stopped texting the people I talk with daily to see if they'd…