Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 04/16/2015 at 3:21am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2712
  • Number of comments : 279
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About angelitared : A riddle I wrote. Pm me the answer. No cheating!

Bitter, black, liquid crack
Battery acid, mocha joe.
Shallow root grow massive and vigorous. Provide me your oval shaped beans. Robusta cherries be full and substantial, for my addiction to you will remain faithful and relentless.

angelitared's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 12 hours ago<b>bekkylove22</b> - yesterday at 12:50am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - yesterday at 12:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:17pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:11pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:49am<b>WasabiG</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:18pm<b>MargaretMary</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:33pm<b>bryan788</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 10:40am<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:32am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 8:53pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:21pm<b>underscore23</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>gavdarv</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:31am<b>msamake</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:33am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 4:42pm

Fucked!<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:09am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:26pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:48am<b>mete_orito</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:06am<b>papashaan</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 5:44am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 7:40pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 5:18pm<b>ThatllDoDonkey</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 4:39am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:25am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:31am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:14am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:43pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:36pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:22pm<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 9:29am<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:06pm

angelitared's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of angelitared's badges

angelitared's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (275337) - you deserved it (50325)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (500094) - you deserved it (48505)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (343481) - you deserved it (29820)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML


I agree, your life sucks (1197831) - you deserved it (126912)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (266912) - you deserved it (63080)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (274462) - you deserved it (60053)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML


I agree, your life sucks (801468) - you deserved it (83549)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (296071) - you deserved it (53664)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (294017) - you deserved it (28388)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -

FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: