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andrewturtle

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andrewturtle
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 220
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About andrewturtle : Hey there,

I'm Asian and I'm Aussie! So what am I?

A BANANA!!!

andrewturtle's last visitors

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andrewturtle's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of andrewturtle's badges

andrewturtle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (6942)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

#21067848
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (4011)

On 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm - work - by ashamedklutz (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39906) - you deserved it (3898)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (36703)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43880) - you deserved it (6697)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

#21057961
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (32636) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/12/2014 at 4:47am - work - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (3477)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

#20815079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (5014)

On 08/01/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by fuckoffgran (woman) - Ireland

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53653) - you deserved it (8454)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML

#17330812
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28426) - you deserved it (2296)

On 08/01/2011 at 11:05am - misc - by Foreigner (woman) - Jersey



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