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andrekrivo

Offline (the 12/10/2015 at 9:54pm) | Search for a member

andrekrivo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 773
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About andrekrivo : my photo is the best description of me! (note to self: a quick shave and a shower gives you flower power!)

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andrekrivo's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44107) - you deserved it (3009)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54464) - you deserved it (3609)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (7107)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52742) - you deserved it (4857)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62997) - you deserved it (9744)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

#20727332
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

#20704962
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49779) - you deserved it (5982)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54117) - you deserved it (26156)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38127) - you deserved it (7429)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44340) - you deserved it (6734)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (3287)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

#20011651
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

#19098122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/17/2012 at 1:22am - work - by Christinemh329 - United States



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