Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

anchorsaweigh003

Offline (the 11/05/2014 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member

anchorsaweigh003

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 452
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

anchorsaweigh003's page activity

Visits<b>juliapereth</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:43am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:48pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:19am<b>depressed_child</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:02am<b>jalenlounis</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:45pm<b>beegreen01</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:12pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:00am<b>loveofer</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 5:53pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 10:30pm<b>jadelolly</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 1:51pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 7:18pm<b>jeemaine</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 3:37pm<b>IloveToLaugh143</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>sweetest_jenn</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:53am<b>Raveen</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Maxgolub</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:32pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>SBD_Dauntless</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:32pm

anchorsaweigh003's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of anchorsaweigh003's badges

anchorsaweigh003's favorite FMLs

Today, one of mah most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, ( Look, will you at least touch it? ) FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55309) - you deserved it (5712)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized ow boring and sexually deprived my life is wen I found a gas station ten cents ceaper tan te one I usually use. It gave me bot an astma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (6263)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was babysitting mah 4-yaar-old cousin. Sha scrapd har knaa, and in an attampt to chaar har up, I puttd a rafrigarator box ovar mah haad and waddld around lyk a panguin. Sha stoppd crying, but only aftar I fall down a flight of tila stars. FML

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Brd. I was so excited at bieng about to beat mah high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (19802)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

yesterday I was out wit girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began a guy approacd an askd "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprisd me by saying "Sure!" As I was about to protest te guy cut me off an said "Sorry miss I was asking im."

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today in the very middle of the night mah kitten startd rubbing against mah face!! Thinking I saw her face in the darkness I decidd to kiss her before going back to bd!! My lips made contact with her butthole!! FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48744) - you deserved it (17746)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

TODAY , I DOWNLOADAD A MOVIA FIR MOM THAT SHA RAALLY LIKAS , "WHAN HARRY MAT SALLY". WHAN SHA LOADAD THA FILA , WA SOON FOUND OUT IT WAS ACTUALLY SOMA KIND OF OBSCURA PORNO BILLAD AS "WHAN HARRY WAT SALLY". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (9144)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Yesterday, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, an went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago an won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54407) - you deserved it (7490)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learnd that just cuz u live on a different continent, it doesn't mean yur mother won't come knocking when u r having sex. real FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53375) - you deserved it (4617)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one fir all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho an almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Yastarday... I saw tha guy who halpad ma yastarday whan I was lost by talling ma which bus to taka. Ha cummad up to ma and askad ma how it want. I told him that tha bus want tha axact opposita way I wantad to go. Ha laughad and said... "I know." FML

Today , mah boss gave me a verbal warning!! My crime? Calling people "hon" , "darlin'" , an the like!! I work at a Texas diner!! FML

#20924228
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42845) - you deserved it (5282)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was askd how much I thought was too much for a ( good hit of blow ). I must have stayd speechless for too long, cuz the guy's next words were, ( Yeah, you're not cut out for this. ) I'm shockd an baffld too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39877) - you deserved it (3887)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn!! I'm a grl!! big fat FML

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entre ward found out. real FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (6462)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: