an3ph

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Offline (the 06/21/2015 at 10:52pm)

an3ph

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1309
  • Number of comments : 594
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About an3ph : Soft spoken, skinny 30-something funeral director by profession who loves books (like J. R. R. Tolkien's and O. S. Card's) and words (like mamihilapinatapai). I have a good life, so I don't have a lot to post here, but I enjoy commiserating with other people's troubles.

an3ph's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 1:12pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 3:08am<b>joco4</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 4:19am<b>shanewh40</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:11am<b>TheBroCodeBros</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 6:01pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:28pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:36am<b>Frowny</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:44am<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 9:54pm<b>powerranger123</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:28am<b>Neut</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 12:13pm<b>chloe24601</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 11:50am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:51pm<b>darkmournings</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:01pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:29pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:31am<b>huulia_</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:19pm

Fucked!<b>shanewh40</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 11:11am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:14pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 3:54am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:29am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:27am<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:11am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:31am

an3ph's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of an3ph's badges

an3ph's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

by Alex / 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

by Boulette / 06/23/2014 at 1:44am / Love

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

by blanknameisblank / 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

by Un1ucky / 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

by FallCameEarly / 02/27/2014 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

by Merith2004 / 02/04/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

by igotpride / 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.