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amykillswitch

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amykillswitch

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41610
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About amykillswitch : You should read your Bible, sirs. You'll find all types of weird shit in there. Like, did you know Jesus was a Jew?

amykillswitch's page activity

Visits<b>Fidge</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:03pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:28am<b>sb4331</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:36am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:07pm<b>sexypvc24</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:43pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:57pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:11am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:30pm<b>gunzerker</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:11pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:21pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:08pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:28pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:11pm<b>OneThingRemains</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:50am<b>bigruebs</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:00pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:51am<b>trentask</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:41pm

Liked!<b>NicholasLanier</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 3:41am

amykillswitch's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

amykillswitch's favorite FMLs

Today , I was in the basement at my grandma's house . The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement . I lookd through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on . A pair of shitty underpants cummd down and landd in my face . They were my grandma's . FML

#3078532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40161) - you deserved it (11186)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was mah boyfriend's brthday . He wanted a blowjobhile playing Call of Duty 4 . In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller downhen he died . Into mah head . FML

#3078421
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60458) - you deserved it (25990)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from mah grlfriend thanking me 4 the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town 4 3 days. FML

#3068602
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64031) - you deserved it (3569)

On 06/20/2009 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by desocrates (man) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY , I WAS AT MCDONALD'S AND I WAS GOING THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU. AS I WAS DRIVING AWAY , I CHECKD MAH FOOD AND THE LADY HAD GIVEN ME A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM HAPPY MEAL TOY BY MISTAKE. I GOT SO EXCITD THAT I CRASHD THE CAR INTO A POLE. I'M 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (65470)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked mah Swedish friend 4 some lines to impress this swedish grl I met at an expat party he took me to . I practised them all evening before I met her . I told her mah feelings, and she scowled . Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face . FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50582) - you deserved it (21349)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I Had A Horrible Day At Work, Came Home Early And Burst Into Tears As Soon As I Was In The Door. I Curled Up On The Sofa, Still Bawling, And Mah Cat Came Over And Jumped Up For A Cuddle. I Gave Her A Hug And She Threw Up Down Mah Back. FML

#2912753
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45907) - you deserved it (4277)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today , a man came up to me at the bus stop. He looool went into this long story about how his grlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back , "sounds lyk you should invest in condoms instead of food." He respondd by beating and robbing me. real FML

my car was in tha shop so I borrowd my wifa's VW Baatla convartibla. It's raally ambarrassing bacausa it's a girlia car an it's full of littla stuffd animals. At a stop light a man askd ma if I'd lika to borrow ona of his tasticlas bacausa "avary man should hava at laast ona." fat FML

#2812014
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95169) - you deserved it (20057)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123613) - you deserved it (75599)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

2day I got hypnotized at mah looool school's variety show. Apparently,hen asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84298) - you deserved it (20473)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Taday my cousin and I found out that when a grl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. mega FML

#2671287
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65486) - you deserved it (6652)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

My Boyfriend Went To The Aquarium. We Were Noticing The Fishy Smell, An I Had Made A Comment About It. Then Mah Boyfriend Slowly, An Seductively Whispers Into Mah Ear, "It Sort Of Reminds Me Of How U Smell." FML

#2660481
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55932) - you deserved it (12383)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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