amoredeniro

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Offline (the 02/18/2016 at 8:55pm)

amoredeniro

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 602
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About amoredeniro : I'm just a bright ball of sunshine who happens to have a mouth like a sailor

amoredeniro's page activity

Visits<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:43am<b>RedneckTrucker20</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:10pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 7:16am<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:09pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:30pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:20pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:17am<b>jalenlounis</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:01pm<b>tcb160</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:26pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:32am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:29am<b>rpsrascal</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:09am<b>Dipmunch</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 1:50pm<b>ToriaButtcheek</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:55pm

amoredeniro's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

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amoredeniro's favorite FMLs

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

by ameliaruth09 / 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

by Greatgrandpa / 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm / Curacao / Kids

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

by dogdays / 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

by Yeah / 10/24/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 10:53am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 9:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy