amm610

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Offline (the 02/20/2015 at 4:36am)

amm610

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  • Number of visits : 403
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amm610's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 8:45am / United States / Love

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

by missca / 12/15/2014 at 11:35pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

by Silverfeathery / 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 3:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

by single pringle / 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love