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amirakun

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amirakun
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  • Number of visits : 216
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amirakun's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

#14694956
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (1969)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:01am - health - by l0stnwundrland - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (6548)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46534) - you deserved it (4040)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML

#4687327
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57276) - you deserved it (5151)

On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (14733)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63733) - you deserved it (4611)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

#3361176
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14357) - you deserved it (83614)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, one of my good friends confided in me about the affair she is having with our boss. She'd been sleeping with him for 3 months and told me they were in love, but it had to be kept quiet due to our company's very strict anti-fraternization policy . I'd been secretly seeing him all year. FML

#3060400
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50177) - you deserved it (20887)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

#932548
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133665) - you deserved it (7693)

On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was denied acceptance to The University of Georgia. I was down all day so I decided to go to a party my friend was throwing. Thinking it would cheer me up, as soon as I arrive all I see is colleges on shirts, hats, and sweatshirts, most being UGA. It was a college acceptance party. FML

#673526
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50991) - you deserved it (5909)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by oldskoolgrl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (66889)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

#273030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (60333)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)



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