Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amirakun

Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 12:44pm) | Search for a member

amirakun

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 940
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

amirakun's page activity

Visits<b>T_Young96</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:01am<b>cre8tvlylicnsd</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:08pm

amirakun's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of amirakun's badges

amirakun's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40900) - you deserved it (8654)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (37916)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37976) - you deserved it (4021)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (7700)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (2397)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19032) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (5828)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (1304)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32333) - you deserved it (1807)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43496) - you deserved it (2525)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

#18666751
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (2295)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: