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amirakun

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amirakun
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amirakun's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (7283)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20867) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (2690)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15879) - you deserved it (5404)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (1096)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26600) - you deserved it (1428)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (2302)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

#18666751
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (2051)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

#18397332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14389) - you deserved it (22836)

On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19140) - you deserved it (2340)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

#17480166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (11025)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13440) - you deserved it (26470)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8948) - you deserved it (86790)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (8006)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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