amirakun

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Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 12:44pm)

amirakun

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  • Number of visits : 1807
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amirakun's page activity

Visits<b>T_Young96</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:01am<b>cre8tvlylicnsd</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:08pm

amirakun's FML badges

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amirakun's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

by That Guy / 11/01/2014 at 8:58am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

by katsaysner / 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

by fucksake / 10/05/2014 at 11:55am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

by foreveralone / 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

by bear food / 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

by innocent / 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

by thejanamonster / 12/30/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

by meow / 10/30/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Animals