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Offline (the 02/10/2014 at 3:52pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8528
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ambiversion : Hello! I'm an awkward, musical, self-contained individual from Scotland, where it's quite cold with 99.9% chance of rain. I like it here. My favourite colour is green, but I think they're all wonderful. "I can make any kind of balloon animal, as long as it's a worm... or a snake..."

ambiversion's page activity

Visits<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:41pm<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:10pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:30am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:10pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:57am<b>PresidentNorth</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:39am<b>ThatGuyWithFMLs</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:22am<b>liketenpandas</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:12am<b>noxcrimson</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:29am<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:50am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:37am<b>swasher</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:21pm<b>CobraLazerFace</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:23pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:48pm<b>bdonxtreme</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:21pm<b>WildaRora</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:28pm

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ambiversion's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

by notgoodwitholdpeople / 05/23/2014 at 12:00pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

by What am I doing with my life? / 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

by ForgottenSarahMarshall / 05/22/2014 at 1:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

by NoMoreMeatForAYear / 05/21/2014 at 5:23pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

by HouseWife / 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

by her mom raised her / 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm / Mexico / Kids

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 12:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

by fuck florida / 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals