ambition83

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ambition83

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 April 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 643
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ambition83 : Love this site... Sometimes life gives you lemons, but the lemons usually make a hilarious story

ambition83's page activity

Visits<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:10am<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 11:11pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:54pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:50am<b>katastrophicd</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:05pm<b>utrax</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:40am<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:06pm<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:04am<b>AscendV</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:21am<b>ImNotAnAlien</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:25pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 11:50pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:14pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:29pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:26pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>WallyQ</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:25pm

Fucked!<b>katastrophicd</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 1:55am<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:17pm

ambition83's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of ambition83's badges

ambition83's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

by Sam / 01/18/2010 at 12:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

by idiot / 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

by steven / 06/28/2009 at 11:53am / Cayman Islands / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

by Mel / 05/23/2009 at 2:43am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

by Noname / 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

by language barriers / 02/12/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Transportation