Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ambition83

Offline (the 05/26/2015 at 11:18pm) | Search for a member

ambition83

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 April 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 397
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ambition83 : Love this site... Sometimes life gives you lemons, but the lemons usually make a hilarious story

ambition83's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:26pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>WallyQ</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:25pm<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 5:34am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:15pm<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:27am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:52am<b>jassi747</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:52pm<b>eMurpH</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 1:09am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 10:05pm

ambition83's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of ambition83's badges

ambition83's favorite FMLs

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (25276)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26155) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (6562)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML

#20037577
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16753) - you deserved it (31545)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Rotarius (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (1887)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44662) - you deserved it (4098)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (3047)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

#18815086
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (4497)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (43424)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got a call from my grandmother. Turns out my father found out about my elopement with my husband through my stepmother, because someone she works with told her. We were planning on it being a surprise, and telling people on Christmas. My father won't even talk to me now. FML

#14044640
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (26216)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31465) - you deserved it (2535)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (3474)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (3015)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

#7418364
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (2522)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:05pm - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7656) - you deserved it (113692)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: