ambamm135

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ambamm135

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2996
  • Number of comments : 218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ambamm135's page activity

Visits<b>GermanMonkey666</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:22pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:18am<b>brother4sale</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:31pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:03pm<b>GEFStryker</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:08pm<b>riot_grrrl</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:46pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 5:14pm<b>Unbearable</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Anikaaaaa</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:37am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:53am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:14pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:45am<b>3051628</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:29am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:47pm<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:16am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:21am

ambamm135's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ambamm135's badges

ambamm135's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

by badenoughflowers / 01/14/2013 at 10:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

by SugarMyBalls / 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE / 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

by minime94 / 11/15/2012 at 1:35am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

by Drafty / 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

by MB101 / 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Love

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2012 at 5:20pm / United States (New York) / Transportation