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alyssa_smith's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jogger / 11/27/2011 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML
by Not-so-good-gymnast / 09/27/2009 at 4:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML
by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
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- Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door… Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk… Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got…