alyssa_smith

Search for a member

alyssa_smith

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 February 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 420
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

alyssa_smith's page activity

Visits<b>illegal_love</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:04am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:33am<b>luke093</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 8:45am<b>aa1717</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 8:05pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:19pm<b>NikkiNiks16</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:19pm<b>miserypoison</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:49am<b>DisappearingRose</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:42pm<b>xxGheTToGumbYxx</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 2:33pm<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 5:54pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:20am<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 1:22am<b>larson15</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 8:47am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:42pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 7:49pm<b>pacmanman</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 6:12am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 9:23am

alyssa_smith's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of alyssa_smith's badges

alyssa_smith's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML

by jogger / 11/27/2011 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML

by Not-so-good-gymnast / 09/27/2009 at 4:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy