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alyalyoxenfree

Offline (the 02/26/2015 at 12:18am) | Search for a member

alyalyoxenfree

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 123
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alyalyoxenfree's page activity

Visits<b>icandothecancan</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 12:41am<b>423</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:27am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>jazlynnefaith</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:23am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:54pm<b>twodotgirl</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:52pm<b>htownpostman</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:34pm

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alyalyoxenfree's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26234) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31900) - you deserved it (5619)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30378) - you deserved it (3134)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45919) - you deserved it (11863)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (9528)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32310) - you deserved it (16127)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (4878)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (21276)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50148) - you deserved it (5348)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (8472)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52668) - you deserved it (7173)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48209) - you deserved it (8519)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51457) - you deserved it (4415)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)



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