alwaysmalia

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alwaysmalia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About alwaysmalia : I love modeling, turtles, painting, dogs, running, biking, the great out doors, and anything crafty :)

alwaysmalia's page activity

Visits<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:15am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:18pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:32pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:44pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:43pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:59pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:16pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:30pm<b>dre82</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:29pm<b>ronzilla</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 11:30pm<b>f36k</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 2:09am<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 3:39pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 12:12am<b>BloodShot_Beauty</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:27am<b>MortenM</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:48pm<b>baba01</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 6:16am<b>bo501</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 6:13am<b>justtheotherguy</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 5:19am

alwaysmalia's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alwaysmalia's badges

alwaysmalia's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

by itsellie27 / 08/30/2013 at 10:44am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

by tallguy / 08/29/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

by Baustigt / 08/22/2013 at 10:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

by fuck you retail / 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

by unwilling redneck / 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous