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always_audrey

Offline (the 02/08/2015 at 5:30am) | Search for a member

always_audrey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 161
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About always_audrey : нey ι'м aυdrey
ι love тo нang oυт wιтн мy ғrιendѕ
and aм тoтally careғree

always_audrey's page activity

Visits<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:13pm<b>boating_guy</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 4:57am<b>xThatOneWeirdGuy</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 6:39pm

always_audrey's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of always_audrey's badges

always_audrey's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39467) - you deserved it (3136)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50438) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (3246)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (11922)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML

#18763493
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14573) - you deserved it (19084)

On 01/10/2012 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39476) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64768) - you deserved it (5103)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11720) - you deserved it (44154)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68558) - you deserved it (4991)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16856) - you deserved it (82926)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5958) - you deserved it (37126)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)



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