aloring

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Offline (the 10/23/2015 at 4:22am)

aloring

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 687
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About aloring : Hi. My name is Amy. I just turned 21 and I most spend most of the time on this app when my daughter won't sleep.:)

aloring's page activity

Visits<b>jwolt92</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 1:03am<b>TylerTeaches</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:38am<b>Cherryheart</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>juliapereth</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:53pm<b>leagacysgirl</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:32pm<b>GumpyGobbler</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>SaltyJuice</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:17am<b>GeneralStew</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:17am<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:43pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:59pm<b>anoneemoose</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:33pm<b>colombiatti</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:12am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 6:41pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:11pm<b>LySsa38</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:57pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:12am<b>cucumber10</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:48pm

aloring's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of aloring's badges

aloring's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

by jigglypluff / 11/19/2014 at 12:27am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

by ailat0107 / 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

by indi1011 / 04/20/2009 at 8:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous