Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 02/07/2016 at 5:26am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 August 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 873
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ally_sanderson : Hi I'm Ally!(: im from NC and i love to read and i absolutely love to talk!(: i also have no life because i spend most of my time at practice (color guard)!(: thats pretty much it! Have a wonderful day!(:
P.S. My account will not let me change the pictures so they are kind of dated.

ally_sanderson's page activity

Visits<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:47pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:34am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:47am<b>andres1419</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:35am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:07pm<b>StevenArmentrout</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:26am<b>Mons</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:24pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:38pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 7:25pm<b>venterd</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:07pm<b>NAH2000</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:22pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 5:07pm<b>ElleHarding2701</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:31am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:14pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 3:34pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 4:31am<b>Beccag7</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:51am<b>kyoung123</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:11pm

Fucked!<b>trashyant</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:23am<b>NAH2000</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:22pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:23pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:39am<b>andres1419</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:46pm<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:45am<b>Varieus</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:25am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:59am<b>ScarredVox92</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:50am<b>ronenlior</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:44am<b>Tyrez</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 6:13pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:50am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:16pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:12am<b>conivore723</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:23am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:08am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:27pm

ally_sanderson's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of ally_sanderson's badges

ally_sanderson's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (3040)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (7929)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (5399)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43857) - you deserved it (4205)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15198) - you deserved it (38217)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51026) - you deserved it (3970)

On 07/23/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Gg (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (54135) - you deserved it (24326)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56747) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52885) - you deserved it (5945)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: