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alliewillie

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alliewillie

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21499
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:45am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:12pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:13pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:37am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:23pm<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:18pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:58pm<b>ironmany</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:11pm<b>SwagBasket</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:30pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:28am<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:25am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:24am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:25am<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:02am<b>IMcPwn</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:15pm

Fucked!<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61034) - you deserved it (6729)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61733) - you deserved it (4774)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47859) - you deserved it (6598)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49146) - you deserved it (9641)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (55516)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55952) - you deserved it (7150)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58703) - you deserved it (5690)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52737) - you deserved it (5182)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52724) - you deserved it (4920)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (4485)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43757) - you deserved it (6758)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38654) - you deserved it (5715)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49895) - you deserved it (3565)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43859) - you deserved it (4705)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)



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  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

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