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alliewillie

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alliewillie

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22881
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>Scryll</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:12pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:59pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:18am<b>besosforme</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:06am<b>pikon</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:21pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:48pm<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:36pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:01am<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:25am<b>bscott19</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:31am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:36pm<b>RayTotoro</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:19pm<b>jasonpablo</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:45am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:12pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:13pm

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:18am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43466) - you deserved it (27757)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52001) - you deserved it (21252)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (36184)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37949) - you deserved it (6546)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (39879)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50103) - you deserved it (4314)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (4658)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54852) - you deserved it (3690)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40370) - you deserved it (4665)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (6453)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38757) - you deserved it (6375)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (5022)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51389) - you deserved it (11860)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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