Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Offline (yesterday at 10:15pm) | Search for a member

alliewillie

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27255
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>callcopse</b> - yesterday at 11:56am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:29am<b>supr_sexy</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:07pm<b>sabres5730</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:57pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:25pm<b>JimonSern</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:42am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:13pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:32am<b>samrompain</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 6:43pm<b>ruprisura</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:29pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:17pm<b>muis545</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:56pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:32pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:04am<b>tigersman1c</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:30pm<b>jill97</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:22am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:18am

Fucked!<b>callcopse</b> - yesterday at 5:56pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:23pm<b>hai111</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:19am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:18am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

#21438009
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (2621)

On 07/07/2015 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML

#21436861
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (2094)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm - love - by wellthatsucks - United States

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2506)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (4138)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

#21425895
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (3257)

On 06/14/2015 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

#21425871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33886) - you deserved it (5006)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - money - by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28257) - you deserved it (1994)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37596) - you deserved it (2983)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

#21423616
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (2621)

On 06/09/2015 at 10:44pm - love - by storyofmylife - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

#21422896
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (3037)

On 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

#21422070
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (3171)

On 06/07/2015 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

#21421711
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (6158)

On 06/06/2015 at 10:37am - love - by sad and hungry (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (10639)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40677) - you deserved it (3336)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: