This member hasn't filled in their description.
alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
by meunluckycharms / 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I found a folder on my boyfriend's computer called "Facebook". It turned out to be a collection of thousands of photos from his female friends' accounts. It was all sorted into folders like "Big Tits", "Blonde", "Cameltoe", "Feet", and "Jailbait". FML
by WTF / 09/11/2015 at 8:54pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by lobotomy pls / 09/11/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML
by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML
by westie732 / 09/09/2015 at 10:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by annonymous / 09/07/2015 at 4:56pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anon / 09/06/2015 at 8:50am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 1:38am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML
by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:28am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 3:45am / India (West Bengal) / Love
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML
by imonfmlnow / 08/13/2015 at 12:24pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy