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alliewillie

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alliewillie

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22843
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>Scryll</b> - yesterday at 4:12pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - yesterday at 2:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 1:59pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:18am<b>besosforme</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:06am<b>pikon</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:21pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:48pm<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:36pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:01am<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:25am<b>bscott19</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:31am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:36pm<b>RayTotoro</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:19pm<b>jasonpablo</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:45am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:12pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:13pm

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:18am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33912) - you deserved it (5131)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (4274)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41840) - you deserved it (11657)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (12058)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48903) - you deserved it (6820)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46404) - you deserved it (2508)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15650) - you deserved it (36221)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (3578)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48365) - you deserved it (4001)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (5581)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36348) - you deserved it (9450)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (6869)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49197) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you deserved it (16634)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48789) - you deserved it (18921)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)



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