Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

alliewillie

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22816
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>Scryll</b> - 16 hours ago<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - 18 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 18 hours ago<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:18am<b>besosforme</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:06am<b>pikon</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:21pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:48pm<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:36pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:01am<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:25am<b>bscott19</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:31am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:36pm<b>RayTotoro</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:19pm<b>jasonpablo</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:45am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:12pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:13pm

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:18am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29942) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

#21375407
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (2151)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:10am - love - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML

#21373326
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105) - you deserved it (1873)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (3921)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

#21370369
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63) - you deserved it (2748)

On 03/08/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

#21369784
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (2363)

On 03/07/2015 at 5:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my long-term boyfriend said that if we ever finally get married, his ex-girlfriend will definitely have to be a bridesmaid. FML

#21369466
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2550)

On 03/06/2015 at 6:30pm - love - by Not Engaged - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35748) - you deserved it (2410)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (3474)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45947) - you deserved it (2111)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36606) - you deserved it (2402)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34215) - you deserved it (2581)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: