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alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
by Sunshinenwhiskey / 05/05/2016 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML
by Maddi / 05/03/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
by Sara / 05/03/2016 at 12:52pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
by brandogg / 04/29/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex-best friend, who I haven't spoken to in a year because of how obsessive she got, posted a picture of herself with dyed brown hair and glasses. We look like twins. Even I thought it was me. Some people are commenting that I look beautiful. School starts tomorrow. FML
by exiebestie / 04/25/2016 at 9:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Why / 04/24/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by dvddtraveller / 04/22/2016 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, the man I love, who broke my heart by leaving me a few months ago, showed up to a family event and pulled off the most elaborate, romantic proposal I've ever seen. He was proposing to my cousin. FML
by 4evalone / 04/22/2016 at 2:06pm / United States / Love
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Love
by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous