Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allie2590

Online | Search for a member

allie2590

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 36215
  • Number of comments : 532
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>ReallyHottChic</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:18pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:16am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:12am<b>mccrightp</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:53pm<b>bosco556</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:59pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:58am<b>Jay0501</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:58pm<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:28am<b>crazzzy_man1</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 5:44pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:48pm<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:47pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:19pm<b>katrynaalyse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ofeofe</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:04pm

Fucked!<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (3687)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (4147)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30595) - you deserved it (2792)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (5555)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28241) - you deserved it (4007) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (6883)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
105 comments

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28395) - you deserved it (3657)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (2495)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (4297)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (2751)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: