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allie2590

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allie2590
  • Town/Country : St. Catharines, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 30529
  • Number of comments : 481
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's last visitors

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allie2590's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39241) - you deserved it (3588)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (7878)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44526) - you deserved it (4922)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (14225)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33474) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48483) - you deserved it (4737) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (11621)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36949) - you deserved it (3759)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38737) - you deserved it (4959)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (4065)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54516) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (9725)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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Thursday 10 April 2014

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