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allforyoux3

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allforyoux3
  • Town/Country : Texas, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1131
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About allforyoux3 : I'm a Criminal Justice major aspiring to become a police officer.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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allforyoux3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (7724)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14912) - you deserved it (1372)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14912) - you deserved it (1372)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (2491)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (2491)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (5422)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

#19314232
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9136) - you deserved it (21134)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7386) - you deserved it (49219) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (11154)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States



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