Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allforyoux3

Search for a member

allforyoux3

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4695
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About allforyoux3 : I'm a Criminal Justice major aspiring to become a police officer.

allforyoux3's page activity

Visits<b>trollcrusher</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:24am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:25am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:50pm<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:44pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:25pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:01pm<b>ansarias</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:32am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:10pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:59am<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:43am<b>martin8337</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:02am<b>88fjtus</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:49am<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:53am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:19am<b>Northshore75</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:59pm<b>batah</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:30pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:47am

Fucked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:02am

allforyoux3's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allforyoux3's badges

allforyoux3's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (9110)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50982) - you deserved it (23644)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44704) - you deserved it (5997)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42476) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42476) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48009) - you deserved it (2872)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64987) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50426) - you deserved it (7100)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70117) - you deserved it (10302)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59360) - you deserved it (3410)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (55183)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53510) - you deserved it (6584)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54237) - you deserved it (3585)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50089) - you deserved it (4712)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: